you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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