Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
