Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
