at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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