Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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