38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
