Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
