I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
