Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize