Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
