Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
