I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
