i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
