who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
