But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
