I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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