i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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