Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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