i barfeds in our rink
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my shit smells like andre
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
