I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
