PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
