it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize