so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
