hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Jerry, you need to find god
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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