She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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