I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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