I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
