The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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