We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
