I want to walk on stilts...naked
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
