You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
