But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
