He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
someone owes me an orgasm
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
