two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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