I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
