would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
