I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and she was petting her beer can
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
