Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
