I'm drive I can fine osifer
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
