My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
