you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
