i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Even my vagina gasped.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
