Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
