he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
