Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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