On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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