Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My feet surprised me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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