so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
