Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
