she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
