wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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