just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
