If i come over, it means nothing
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
